My 3 Step Method in becoming the best parent you can be…

Parenting is a skill and like any skill you need to continuously work at it. I was not born parent I had to learn how to be a parent through trial and error. That means I’m not a perfect parent and I’ve made a lot of mistakes.

photo credit: storyvillegirl

I’m going to share with you my 3-STEP METHOD in becoming the best parent that you can be. During the past 6 years I’ve been fine tuning this method in order to build s solid foundation in raising my children.

• Step 1. Assess your Parenting Skills
• Step 2. Identify your Parenting Style
• Step 3. Create a Healthy Foundation

I wish I had known this information before because it would have eliminated so much heartache. A disagreement on how to discipline the children with my husband had caused so many arguments and harsh words, even when the matter was ridiculously small.

I strongly recommend that even if you are a single parent or have joint custody of your child  follow these steps and you’ll learn valuable things about yourself and how you can work together with your partner and learn to improve your parenting skills to become the best parent that you can be.

There is a great parenting course based on interviews with 5 teachers from the movie, The Secret including Joe Vitale and Dr. John Demartini on how to raise happy, thriving, successful kids and teens. This program includes complete audios, transcripts and 12 Lessons.  Click Here! for more information.

Step 1. Assess your Parenting Skills

Each parent should take inventory of his or her strengths and weaknesses and share them with their partner. This exercise will help facilitate “sharing the responsibility of discipline” in the family and identify where your partner can provide assistance to you or vice versa.

To learn more about parenting online classes in your area  Click Here!

A. Physical Needs

• provide nutritional meals for children
• provide a safe environment where they feel protected and secure
• teach your children to practice daily good hygiene and other activities as they grow and develop
• set a regular daily schedule with meals, naps and bedtime consistent times throughout the day
• practice preventive medical care, take them to the doctor or dentist

photo credit: Stenly Lam

B. Displays of Love

• demonstrate your love for your child by hugging, touching and telling him and doing little things that make him happy.
• tell them “I love you” and make sure they know they are special
• display with pride creative art projects or high grades on the refrigerator or on your desk
• provide a positive environment, and reinforce good behavior

C. Teach Life’s Lessons

• encourage children to make their own decisions, they need to learn how to make the right choices
• provide support and offer to help with decisions
• being a parent is a full-time job that requires repetition and constant reminders
• protect your children from dangerous Internet sites, and teach them the red flags to look out for
• enforce good table manners and other lessons that will help your children function in society

D. Discipline

• establish consistent discipline is vital so your child recognizes boundaries
• make sure your children know the rules and behavior expectations
• be fair and firm with discipline, but always act out of love
• children should know the consequences of their actions

E. Accountability

• children should take responsibility for their actions and accept the consequences
• children should learn to make mistakes and correct them
• house rules need to be clearly stated and reinforced
• lead by example, a strong parent teaches his children accountability

photo credit: clogozm

F. Responsibility

• assign your child a responsibility within the family
• children should participate in family chores
• children need to be present for family events and meals
• instill the importance of schoolwork and studying for tests
• teach your child the importance of helping others and volunteering their time

G. Respect for Others

• children should respect everyone at all times
• children should respect the value of authority, listen to teachers and others in charge
• children should respect other people’s property, rights and opinions
• display your respect for your child in the same manner

H. Value Education

• read to your child
• teach educational lessons whenever the opportunity arises
• teach the importance of education
• children should be on time to school everyday
• review your child’s homework and when they bring home information from school

To learn more about parenting online classes in your area Click Here!

Step 2. Identify your Parenting Style

 It’s important to know your type of parenting style before trying to change or impose a new one.

There is a great parenting course based on interviews with 5 teachers from the movie, The Secret including Joe Vitale and Dr. John Demartini on how to raise happy, thriving, successful kids and teens. This program includes complete audios, transcripts and 12 Lessons.  Click Here!

photo credit: Instant Vantage

A.  How did we inherent our parenting style?

We all have our own unique parenting style because we have been conditioned or programmed in three ways from our childhood:

• Verbal teaching (What did you hear when you were young?)
• Modeling (What did you see when you were young?)
• Specific events (What did you experience when you were young?)

With this in mind we can say that our parenting style is influenced by our environment and surroundings as we grew up as a child, upbringing values and beliefs and what happened during our childhood has shaped our personalities and characteristics we possess as a parent today.

Once we are aware and understand our parenting style it can be influenced by our choices and new learning habits. Just like skills, parents can also incorporate new styles as they see fit given a particular situation and choosing whether to keep it or let go based on what you know today and your goals.

B. Four Parenting Styles

There are three parenting styles suggested by psychologist Diana Baumrind in which the majority of parents display one of three parenting styles. In 1983, Maccoby & Martin added a fourth parenting style the uninvolved parenting.

1.Authoritarian Parenting “Because I said so”

• Obedient and status oriented parents
• Expect their orders to be obeyed without explanation
• Little or no communication to explain the reasoning behind the rules
• Children must follow strict rules if not they are punished
• Have high demands and are not responsive to children

2.Authoritative Parenting

• Establish rules like authoritarian parents but are more willing to listen to questions
• When children fail to follow their rules, parents are more nurturing and forgiving rather than punishing
• Disciplinary methods: parents are supportive rather than punitive
• Want children to be assertive and socially responsible, self-regulated and cooperative

photo credit: youngthousands

3.Permissive Parenting “Nontraditional and Lenient”

• Referred to as indulgent parents
• Have very few demands to make of their children
• Parents rarely discipline their children and have relatively low expectations of maturity and self-control
• Parents are more responsive than they are demanding
• Nontraditional and lenient
• Do not require mature behavior, allow considerable self-regulation, and avoid confrontation”
• Parents are generally nurturing and communicative with their children
• Take the status of a friend more than that of a parent

4.Uninvolved Parenting

• Few demands, low responsiveness and little communication
• Fulfill child’s basic needs
• Parents are generally detached from their child’s life
• Parents may even reject or neglect the needs of their children

We all have our own unique parenting style, which creates a challenge for all couples entering parenthood. Figuring out the parenting style and then answering important questions in terms of how you want your family to look like over time is essential.

You may want to take into consideration the following questions;

• What discipline tactics will be used?
• What type of habits will be encouraged or discouraged?
• What type of education will be sought after?
• How will you function as a couple? Single parent?
• How will your child be praised?

photo credit: fivehanks

Furthermore, as parents you can negotiate with different parenting styles (Authoritarian, Authoritative or Permissive) depending on your child’s personality and type. For instance, if you’re dealing with a rebellious child you might not use the Authoritarian parenting style, as this would not be an appropriate approach.

To learn more about parenting online classes in your area Click Here!

Step 3. Create a Healthy Foundation

As you complete steps 1 and 2 it will help clear the path and begin navigating your way towards your goal or healthy foundation. Parents must be willing to refine and combine their best. No matter how unique your parenting styles are from each other, parents have one qualifying goal: The desire for their children to grow into successful adults.

Define and describe the type of “healthy foundation” you want to build for your family. Being a conscious parent means embracing where you are now and taking a step at a time to improve your parental skills on a daily basis.  A healthy foundation revolves around consistent discipline, responsibility, respect and above all love.

As your child grows they will make their own choices, but their choices will be based on the foundation on which they were raised. It is important for parents to make the right choices early so that the foundation is solid and strong and can be tested through life’s tribulations.

Parents who consider to improve or implement new techniques or skills are more likely to guide their children towards successful pathways.

There is a great parenting course based on interviews with 5 teachers from the movie, The Secret including Joe Vitale and Dr. John Demartini on how to raise happy, thriving, successful kids and teens. This program includes complete audios, transcripts and 12 Lessons.  Click Here!